Facial Hair

Stop it. Just cut the crap. I know you like it. That beard. Dumbledore's white beard. That Stats teacher's goatee/mustache thing. You like facial hair. Curly mustaches make you happy. You'd kill to be able to see some solid mutton chops. But you're afraid to admit it.

It's okay. There is certainly a trend in society that says that facial hair shows that a person is unkempt or unclean. And I suppose that argument can work in some situations. Take our friend Jim from the Office here:



Clean-shaven Jim has a smoother, more sleek look to him. But look at beared, rugged Jim. He has the wisdom of centuries on his face. He could kill a tiger with his bare hands.

See, beards have existed since before we were born. In ancient times, shaving was much, much harder. I'm taking blood everywhere. On top of that, your beard was a mark of your age and maturity in society. Men would be ostracized and exiled for not having a beard (which is totally true and is what should happen to Zach Galifanakis in this picture).



Now, it is harder for people with beards to get jobs, unless they are hair dressers or generally otherwise charming. The truth is that beards lie. They don't show the amount of effort put into their creation. Their sculpted edges and mustache/chin beard synergy are routinely ignored. Thus, people shouldn't be shunning bearded men. They should be hiring them by the thousands!

As winter approaches and money remains tight, both men and women need to think of ways to keep themselves warm. Luckily, Mother Nature has your back. Men, grow that beard out proudly. Women, keep your face close to your man's face. Problem solved. Say goodbye to wasting money and electricity. How you like dem apples, CLIMATE CHANGE?!