The Next Bill Shakespeare

Don't ever leave Cameron Alberg by himself on the interwebs. Here is the result: (it's actually quite an intriguing story)

heeellloooooo
and top o the mornin to ya
I SAID
BLERG
wait, thats not what i said
and a good day to you, ma'am
and then he was all alone
the last man standing
all the others were sitting
so he walked
alone
in the dusty corridors
until he came upon a small goat
which he named yarvin
and so on and so forth. he and yarvin went on to do grand things
climbed the mountain of yore
ate the tibetan tribal snacks
descended into the depths of ulrag's basement
 it was all great and awe inspiring
until that fateful day
yarvin, sweating from his daily calorie burning marathon run, walked into the saloon, cold and alone
he who was not there didnt know what to say
because alas, he was not that
or there
so yarvin picked up his sad misshaped hooves and placed them on the counter
"baaaah" said he
the bartender looked up in confusion
suddenly, ulrag burst in through the swinging doors
he stood there, glistening in the pale moonlight
he was a heavy man, with legs that went all the way up to his knees
arms that connect deftly to his shoulders
eyes, placed right in the middle of his face
a smile that had teeth in it
he was not a happy man
he was an ecstatic one
 he grabbed yarvin in an old fashioned goat hug
and they wrestled for fifty days and thirty nine nights
some may say, what happened to old yarvin
nothing, he was perfectly fine, as ulrag had bestowed upon him a great gift. the gift of scoobalicious
and so on they trod, in search of the fabled folk lore of the lore
the lore folk, as the locals called it
the folk folk, as the pigeons called it
and the bad sandwich, as johnny called it
and on they trod
searching for a morsel of cheese hair
but alas, there was nothing but a sad sack of bushels to their wayside
and it was there, on the 62nd day, that yarvin did save his grandpa


Yikes.