Wednesday, November 30, 2011

I Can't Feel My Feet

I've come into contact with a reoccurring theme of my life: uncomfortable shoes. For those who don't know, I have giant feet. And not in a good way, if there is a good way. I'm talking size 13. 13 wide. Do you know who makes easily available 13 wides? New Balance and sometimes Nike. That's it. Sure, New Balance is the most comfortable thing in the world, kinda like bathing your feet in warm water in heaven while an angel feeds you grapes. But they don't like so good and they get dirty quite easily.

So I did something a couple weekends ago I've been doing since I was 12 years old; buying a poorly-fitting pair of shoes. Here she is:


They're from "Eastland" and they look really cool. They work quite nicely all types of clothes. They're also one of the most painful pieces of various materials I've ever put on my large but delicate feet. Oh my mother-loving goose-stepping finger-licking God. They hurt a lot. But wait, they look really nice. And I've needed a pair of sharp looking casual shoes for, well, ever. Any shoes like these are going to hurt. Does that mean I shouldn't wear them? That's not a rhetorical question. I'm seriously asking. I'd like to stop wearing just Nikes, New Balance, and the occasional Converse that can stretch, but my poor little five-toed buddies just can't take it. It boils down to comfort vs fashion, a crucial battle in humanity, besides the Crusades, the World Wars, Israel-Palestine, Iron Chef, etc. Comment, share, or just think about it.

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